I talk about four of my children often ~ they are so very special to me. I have a fifth child ~ he's so special to me too! Actually he is my first child and I shared about him just about a year ago on this post.
I really had no intention of posting about him again ~ sometimes the sweetest, most difficult, most treasured memories are best kept tucked away inside. But I got to thinking and I remembered that the real reason I blog is (mostly) for me. It's so I can put my thoughts somewhere so they're not bouncing around in my head. Last night I was thinking about what memory I would post about today and he's the only thing I was remembering ~ the only thoughts bouncing around were about him. That's because on Saturday memories of him came back in a rush.
I was doing a little bit of sorting through Kevin, Joe, Katie & Mandy's old schoolwork and I came across some papers that I thought I had lost.
I've searched for them for many years and shed tears at the thought that they were gone forever. If I contacted the right places I could have had them replaced but I didn't want to have to do that ~ I didn't want to call around for new copies of his birth & death certificates or his autopsy report....I just wanted them to be where they were suppose to be. In with all my other important papers.
Anyway, I was going through some of my childrens' papers from their schools in Wisconsin. I was smiling and even laughing out loud over some of the things I was looking at. Like a large envelope of photos of a cute little boy that said "Keep Out" and "For Kevin's Eyes Only" on it, and a "My mother is..." paper by Katie that said I was 7 feet tall and 100 lbs!!
And there they were ~ tucked in between Mandy's kindergarten "Color book" and "The Longest Journey" illustrated by Joe. No logical reason for them to be there, none at all. But there they were ~ in an envelope marked "Ronnie". I took them out, unfolded them, re-folded them & put them back in the envelope. I didn't read them ~ I know what they say. I don't know how they got there or when they got there but I'm so happy that I found them. When you don't have a lot of memories, especially tangible things like old school papers or first drawings, the few bits & pieces you do have are that much more special I think. I sure don't need the bits & pieces in order to remember ~ but I'm so glad they're not lost anymore.